Reading A Very Vampy Christmas should come with a warning for funny bones everywhere. Even after re-reading the story, I still giggled and guffawed. The only reason I was affected so effectively was because of the quality writing. So even when I knew what to expect, the perfect comedic timing still came through making those clever parts continuously grin-worthy. The first hint that I had that Ms. Sparks had written a light and entertaining tale was the ring incident.

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Her leading man is Don Orlando de Corazon, the greatest lover in the vampire world. But who is Don Orlando really? The camp hilarity of this story both mirrors and gently mocks daytime TV with its dramatic pauses and far-fetched plot twists. As always, Sparks brings home the love through the laughter in this fun tale. Sparks has a definite eye for detail and it is the little things that she includes that really make her vampire stories work. Sparks with this spectacular story.

The tears that blurred her vision had little to do with the role she was playing--Jessica Goodwin, mortal doctor, hopelessly in love with a vampire. Like any good soap opera actress, Maggie turned her back to the person she was addressing and looked sadly at the camera. He seized her hand and kissed it. What sort of cheesy person was writing this nonsense? Maggie inwardly cursed the writer while trying to ignore the way Don Orlando was brushing his lips against her knuckles.

Sweet Mary, now he was nibbling her fingers. But it meant nothing. He was only acting. Unfortunately, her lack of a pulse during the day precluded her from attending the ceremony. Only a few mortals employed at the Digital Vampire Network knew about vampire soap operas, and they were sworn to secrecy.

The mortals knew if they blabbed, they would pay in blood. Maggie knew this movement caused Vamp viewers at home to sigh in ecstasy. She should know. And if Don Orlando executed the famous double flip, throwing both edges of his cape over his shoulders to reveal his entire chest in its muscle-rippling glory, his female fans were known to swoon.

No doubt, a few male ones, too. Maggie wandered to the empty desk of her pretend office. This is a hospital. I will heal during my daily death-sleep. How could I fall in love with one of the Undead?

This pose was designed to highlight her ample bosom. You used some sort of insidious vampire mind control. No woman, alive or undead, can resist me. Years of med school, endless hours in the ER. People need me. I have a reputation to maintain. I need the respect of my peers. How can I have an affair with an undead trumpet player from a mariachi band? And the greatest lover in the vampire world. Maggie turned away with a gasp. The ring on her right pinky finger gleamed under the stage lights, bright gold against the mound of coal black chest hair.

He embraced her tighter. Please let me go! He stumbled back. Grimacing in pain, Don Orlando pressed a hand against his now bare chest. It was fake? Sweet Mary, she should have known. How many men had body hair like an English sheepdog? She ripped it from her ring and offered it to its owner. For about half a second. Her amusement died when he checked out the makeup girl with a leering grin. She blushed as she painted his chest with adhesive.

Maggie clenched her fists to keep from slapping him. Sweet Mary and Joseph, she was angry. And now, she realized it was even worse.


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Modal But who is Don Orlando really? Eventually I got to find out who Don Orlando really was, where he came from and what a very unusual family he has. I love it when characters from other books come and play too. Avmpy story was really good. We get to meet the New Orleans coven master, and two transvestite vampires who are a total hoot. My sudden urge to laugh uproariously would have had dire consequences for my laptop. The Bite Before Christmas.


A Very Vampy Christmas






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